The Little Mermaid “Poor Unfortunate Souls” (1989)

Disney villains have come in many different varieties over the years. Some have been downright scary (The Horned King from The Black Cauldron (1985) comes to mind), some have been rather funny (Captain Hook from Peter Pan (1953) is one of those) and then there’s Ursula from The Little Mermaid (1989): she has moments of humor combined with moments of extreme scariness and pure evil. All of which is showcased in her song “Poor Unfortunate Souls.” This song was created by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman.

The setup is simple: After seeing her precious grotto destroyed by her father, King Triton, Ariel is persuaded to visit “the sea witch” Ursula, because (according to her eel minions Flotsam and Jetsam), she can give Ariel what she wants: the ability to get to Prince Eric. Extremely bitter for what her father did, Ariel agrees to go (much to the horror of Sebastian and Flounder, who follow along to see what will happen).

Ursula lives far away from the city of Atlantica in a cave/reef that looks reminiscent of dinosaur bones. The sea witch herself is not, as many believe, half octopus. If you count her tentacles, you’ll see she has only six, which would make her half-squid (it was done this way on purpose because six tentacles were easier to animate than eight).

The witch assures Ariel that she can give the little mermaid exactly what she wants…for a price of course. As the song begins, she explains that the only way Ariel can get Prince Eric is to become a human herself.

My dear, sweet child, that’s what I do
It’s what I live for
To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself
Poor souls with no one else to turn to

I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty
They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
True? Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic
It’s a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don’t laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (Pathetic)

Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, “Spells, Ursula, please!”
And I help them
Yes I do

I really love “Poor Unfortunate Souls.” Pat Carroll delivers a thrilling performance as the villain-disguised-as-helper to “those poor unfortunate souls.” As Ursula tells it, she USED to be a bad person, but now she’s turned her life around and spends all her time helping less fortunate merfolk by giving them their heart’s desires.

Of course, “once or twice” these poor merpeople couldn’t pay her price so she “had to rake ’em cross the coals” (i.e. she turned them into those seaweed creatures trapped at the entrance of her home) but other than that she’s this great do-gooder. (Actually, I think Ursula can’t possibly have cheated EVERYONE she’s helped, because if everyone who went to see her disappeared, people still wouldn’t be going).

what IS it with Disney villains and the scary eyes!!??

Now it’s happened once or twice
Someone couldn’t pay the price
And I’m afraid I had to rake ’em ‘cross the coals
Yes I’ve had the odd complaint
But on the whole I’ve been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls

I’m not asking much, just a token really, a trifle
What I want from you is your voice
But without my voice, how can I-
You’ll have your looks, your pretty face
And don’t underestimate the importance of body language, ha!

The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes on land it’s much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can

But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her tongue who gets a man

Come on you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead
Make your choice
I’m a very busy woman and I haven’t got all day
It won’t cost much
Just your voice!

You poor unfortunate soul
It’s sad but true
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
You’ve got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I’ve got her, boys
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul!

Ariel is very tempted by all of this, and her lingering concerns over never seeing her family again are quickly brushed over by Ursula because in return she says “you’ll have your man.” Of course, there’s still the matter of payment, and Ursula really isn’t asking all that much. All she wants from Ariel is…her voice! Now, that doesn’t sound like too much, but keep in mind part of what made Prince Eric fall in love with Ariel at first sight was that song she was singing to him. Without her voice, how is Eric going to know it’s really her? Ariel is wondering the same thing, but Ursula again brushes this off, saying that all Ariel needs is some “body language” and she’ll be fine, because women aren’t expected to talk on the surface anyways (it’s a total lie, but Ariel doesn’t know that).

Beluga sevruga
Come winds of the Caspian Sea
Larengix glaucitis
Et max laryngitis
La voce to me

Now, sing
Aa-aa-aah, a-aa-aah
Keep singing!
Aa-aa-aah, a-aa-aah

Oh yes, there is one other detail. Once Ariel is made human, she will have three days to get Prince Eric to give her “the kiss of true love.” If this happens, the transformation will be permanent, but if not, then Ariel will turn back into a mermaid and belong to Ursula forever! (Talk about killer fine print!)

A contract magically appears, wherein Ariel would grant Ursula her voice “for all eternity.” To Ursula’s delight, Ariel signs the contract and the deal is done! Now comes my favorite part, the transformation! Ursula sings/chants this powerful spell that sends chills down my spine. As she finishes, a pair of ghostly hands appears and she commands Ariel to sing. And as the little mermaid sings, the hands come closer and ease Ariel’s voice out of her and into Ursula’s magical shell. With payment granted, Ariel is seized and given a pair of human legs (all the while Ursula laughs maniacally, because in her mind Ariel is as good as hers, you know she has no intention of letting that “kiss of true love” happen). Of course, now that she’s human, Ariel can’t breathe underwater anymore, so it’s up to Sebastian and Flounder to race her to the surface.

Trivia Time!

Ursula herself was based on the appearance of a drag queen named Divine (1945-1988).

There were originally a few lines inserted to insinuate that Ursula was King Triton’s sister (and therefore Ariel’s aunt) but this was deemed one subplot too many and the lines were removed.

During the recording, Pat Carroll adlibbed a few words throughout the song (I know her use of “pathetic” early on is a definite adlib), and Menken and Ashman liked her rendition so much that they kept it as is.

And that’s “Poor Unfortunate Souls,” definitely my favorite song from The Little Mermaid. I hope you enjoyed reading about it and listening to it 🙂

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